Real Job, Real Issues: Aliens, ethnocentrism, and my new job cutting trees

One of my most memorable visitors from my time as a ranger was the guy who didn’t believe any of the Ice Ages had happened (because the earth is only a few thousand years old). That was...interesting. So were the people who can only be described as *born-again-new-age* who couldn't wait to "commune" with the mounds.  Now I can add to that list a person who asked if there was an “extra-terrestrial” explanation for the effigy mounds built by American Indians thousands of years ago.

Ellison Orr's map of Marching Bear Mound Group in Effigy Mounds
National Monument.  Just because you can see something from the sky,
doesn't mean aliens made or inspired it. Photo courtesy NPS.

I don’t think my jaw dropped, but I do know there was a bit of awed silence usually reserved for those moments when I see someone wearing hot pants or glitter on their eyes. All my instincts scream at me to freeze and to make no sudden movements.

Perhaps it’s a little unfair to the poor person who asked me that. I understand that such un-testable statements exist and capture the imagination (perhaps due to the hyper active agency detection that I think might go a long way in explaining some of our more bizarre behavior and rituals), but when it comes to choosing explanations of our world I put my faith in empirically tested hypotheses. Aliens? Show me your evidence.

Here’s why I go red in the face, scoff, and huff and puff at you when you posit such a statement. First, that’s embarrassing, but not because of the implausibility and enormous lack of hard evidence for the presence of aliens, but because of what such a statement reveals about your attitude towards other cultures. By stating (or inquiring) that beings from another planet had a role in the construction of prehistoric monuments implies that you don’t think the people living here at that time were mentally or physically capable of such works. Second, it was precisely that line of reasoning that justified the mass extermination of Indians from the North and South American continents five hundred years ago. If someone is not capable, then they are not fully human, and therefore don’t deserve the land on which they are residing (because they don’t know or understand how to “properly” use it).

Now for the tricky part: How do you tell people that their question is dangerously teetering on the edge of ethnocentrism while still encouraging them to continue through the monument and educate themselves a bit?

I copped out, and gave one of the standard answers one uses when the crazies come through and you don’t want to hurt their feelings. Especially when they mean no harm, and are simply more interested in alien conspiracies than humans.

“There are some who think the mounds may have had some kind of celestial or astronomical significance, but because of so many of the mounds were destroyed we’ll never know if there was a pattern; there just aren’t enough of the pieces left to figure out the puzzle of meaning.”

Which translates into “I’ll let you keep believing whatever you want.”

Smiles were exchanged and everyone moved on with their day.

In other news, I’ve been lucky enough to get an extension of sorts at the park I’ve been working at. Extra work hours were given to all the state parks and since our maintenance guy is nearing his yearly limit on hours, I get all the leftovers. Hooray! No real difference in what I’ll be doing, except working in the Store an extra day a week, still doing programs here and there, and…here’s the exciting part: invasive removal.

Which means I got to learn how to use a chainsaw.

I'm clearly angry that this maple is threatening biodiversity with
its weedy tendencies.  And yes, I'm aware of how cool those orange
chaps are.

Super fun, and I can now say I’ve actually “done the work” when it comes to restoration (we’re removing the army of maples that have quickly taken over previously open areas or oak savannah). The one snag? My pitiful upper body strength. First day, I couldn’t start the stupid chainsaw and always had to have someone else get it going for me. BUT, today was the second time out and I figured out a way to start it all by myself! Sure I have to put it on the ground and use a foot and an arm to stabilize it, but I was still rewarded with that satisfying rumbling growl of chainsaw.

Now I just have to get images of Fern Gully out of my mind when I’m out there. I keep saying to myself ‘I’m saving the oaks, I’m saving the oaks,' or, 'I’m saving the prairie, I’m saving the prairie...’

Crysta and Magi would be so mad at me if I accidentally released Hexxus
again.  But I'm pretty sure all of the maple saplings I've cut down are too
small to house such a terrible shadow-diesel-nightmare-beast.